Want Wish Need

Every week New york magazine blog the daily intel posts a great recap of the previous episode. Check out this excerpt or click the link to read the full post.

It is a measure of both the quality energy of the writing on Gossip Girl and the acting of Leighton Meester that the character of Blair Waldorf is able to try to humiliate her best friend, crush an innocent underclassman, thwart her mother’s crucial fashion show not once, not twice, but three times, and you still end up feeling like she’s the victim at the end up the episode. It’s like reading American Psycho and finding yourself hoping that Patrick Bateman gets away in the end (and still gets that reservation!). Are we demented? Or have we just been expertly manipulated by Queen B?

Let us look onward, to this week's reality index, for the answer!

• They included a shot of Michael Kors backstage at the tents, which is obvious enough of a choice. But they also included a shot of cutie Brian Reyes! That’s like, Junior Varsity Fashionism. Plus 1, because the rest of the episode’s Fashionism is strictly Freshman Team.

• Speaking of Fashionism, do prep school girls in New York really read Women’s Wear? Yes, yes they do. Plus 2.

• “Kirsten Dunst?” asks Laurel. “So 2007. Her rehab barely made the radar.” Plus 2, because that is kind of totally true and plus 5 for awesome Hollywood bridge-burning.

• “Are you gay?” Chuck asks Dan after he asks to get close to him. Plus 2, because finally. Plus an extra 3 for Chuck's totally absurd neck scarf.

• “Don’t ever go to high school, Dorota! The girls are spoiled stupid and ungrateful,” wails Blair. Plus 5 for the decibel at which this rant is performed. It actually seems like Blair is going to hyperventilate, just like a real adolescent would. And plus 20 for Blair's assumption that Dorota hasn’t already gone to high school.

• Let's get into the friendship between socialite Poppy Lipton and Serena. It's not totally unrealistic that an adult would take around a high-schooler as arm candy — we read about that sort of thing in the Styles section! — but in the world of Gossip Girl, why would Poppy willingly build someone up who could later topple her from her own pedestal? Minus 1.

• Speaking of weird intergenerational friendships, Minus 3 for all of the energy this Shapiro character, for all his annoyingly well-conceivedness, puts into his relationship with Dan. ADULTS JUST DON’T CARE ABOUT HIGH-SCHOOLERS THAT MUCH. Minus 4.

• And furthermore: How come Eleanor Waldorf lets teenagers decide everything for her? Minus 6, because the woman has a successful business and somebody had to be around to run it before Blair was out of jumpers.

• Minus 2 for the little blue pills Chuck offers Dan. At first we thought it was Viagra, since it didn't have an imprint of a smiley face or heart or anything that would suggest it was Ecstasy, and we had to wait around for the shoes comment to know. Then we were disappointed because (a) that was kind of subtle and (b) Chuck leaving Dan shoeless in Chinatown with a giant raging boner would have been so much better.